¤ jetless heights

makin’ tea in your underwear

+ Sun, October 17

Reconsideration

As I believe many of you remember and have occasionally brought up, I used to write a lot more than I have been.  That was another time though, another place.  I was a very different person when I started writing online, the composition of you all - the audience - has changed wildly in the last few years, my thoughts on what’s even acceptable for public display have become incredibly more conservative than they were.

But through this, and maybe because of this, I find myself writing much less than I’d like.  4 months in and I’ve averaged 1.75 posts a week.  There was a period of time where I was averaging 1.75 posts a day.

Starting over online was partially an effort in redefining my voice.  A sort of balancing act against a time when I was too candid online and definitely strained a relation or two.  While this is too withstrained, I hold firm in saying that there are many things which have no right being on display in such a public and eternal venue.  Sorry kids, but you’re not going to find details of your daddy’s college escapades in cached copies of the pages here.  I’ll tell you when you’re older.

This is a debate everyone involved in writing online must engage themselves at some point.  You never know what future employer, current employer, ex or longlost friend is Googling you and you never know what trail of yours they’ll find.  What are you comfortable with Old Lady Doris down the road knowing?

Obviously, I am not satisfied with the balance I’ve struck.  This itself is a push towards correction, where I offer you insight into what I’m considering.  I have offered few to no details of who I am and what I think in these past four months and that’s a problem.  This is the site of Phil Dokas, and so far Phil Dokas has been hiding behind the curtains.

8 people have chimed in.
→ Add your 2¢ by reading through and commenting at the end.

1 → Marty  –  (Oct 17 2004, 10:30 AM)

I used to have the same problem. Posting 1.75 times a day and including things I didn’t want my parents or the police seeing. Now I only really post when I think it’s necessary. I never write something for the sake of writing.

And on another note: Phil, you have children?

2 → Evan  –  (Oct 17 2004, 11:26 AM)

When I visit this site, I come not to hear stories of drunken debauchery (that’s what Tucker Max is for). Instead, I come hoping for the brief insight into your head which I had become accustomed to last year. The most interesting posts for me were never those of stories of things that had happened, but when you found a way to sit down and write for paragraph upon paragraph about the rain in Ann Arbor. Those are the posts that I come here to see. I yearn tragically for it.

3 → p. burke  –  (Oct 17 2004, 12:50 PM)

You know I’ve had the same problem, Phil, and I’m still not happy with the things I write online.

So what do we do? I think Evan’s example of “the rain in Ann Arbor” is a good one. Through simple observation, you can be at once vague about very personal details, but clear about meaning. And people don’t need to know the specifics as long as the meaning comes across.

You have valid concerns, and this is a tough question. I’ll think about it more.

4 → Laura  –  (Oct 17 2004,  2:52 PM)

This post makes me immeasurably happy.

Welcome back Phil.

5 → OldLadyDoris  –  (Oct 18 2004, 11:49 AM)

this-is-old-ladyldoris.—i-know-all-your-secrets.—stupid-space-bar-giving-me-away.—i-hate-you-space-bar.

6 → Laura A.  –  (Oct 19 2004,  3:00 PM)

I am in agreement with Evan — it’s your thoughtful posts about life in general that I miss, not the gossip.

7 → pd  –  (Oct 20 2004,  3:55 PM)

You know Evan, I had never heard of Tucker Max before.  Randomly today I was linked to a recent story on his site (in fact, the most recent - hint, hint), warned that it was drop dead hilarious and inexplicably disgusting.  Having read it, I certainly agree with at least half of that.

Yes.  This site shall never have anything to do with his.  The end, feliz navidad, merry christmas, happy new year, etc, etc.

8 → ewuch  –  (Oct 24 2004,  2:22 PM)

You shouldn’t feel pressured to write in any one vein at any point in time; you should write what you feel like writing, because that’s what you’ll write best at the time.  (That said, there are also various means for altering your mood - music being an obvious one.)  People read your posts to try to get some of the flavor they’ve had in the past, but it’s up to you to decide how to balance what they want with what you want.  Maybe you want to give them what they want?  You could also try to express yourself as freely as possible, but if you didn’t want input from others then you wouldn’t have the comment lines open.  In any case, this is Phil Dokas’ site and anything that he does with it is because he decided to do that.  Convoluted or no, you can’t devalue the site as an expression of the man over time.

You should come to 203 sometime and stick around to throw frisbee afterwards. 






→ Be kind when posting.  Vulgarity and rancor beg removal.

→ Be brave and sign what you write.  Email addresses are required though never displayed.

→ Allowed HTML: <strong>, <em>, <a>, <blockquote>, <q>, <cite>, <code>.